Cracking Open The Egg Shell
Welcome to my new blog!!!! It's a sanctuary for my thoughts to help me and perhaps others move into the path from childhood to manhood. According to astrology everyone has a Saturn Return every 29 1/2 years that lasts for 2 years. Despite human laws and rules, 18 being the legal age, Nature says otherwise. We are adults between the ages of 28- 30. It's kind of scary but I believe I am ready. My wish is "To become a man of value rather than a man of success". I'm currently 27 years old and will be transitioning into the age of 30 in a couple of years. There are lots of things that I want to achieve, accomplish, and experience.
Writing has always been a great therapeutic exercise for my soul. There aren't many things that I am more delighted to do than to write and read about what I have journeyed through years later. It's an amazing experience. I remember writing about something about my deceased father and only a few months had passed and I caught myself shedding tears over the feelings that I poured on paper.
In this blog, I'm hoping that this 2 year and 2 month and 12 day project will guide me into the place WRITE place as I RIGHT my wrongs on paper. To go from a baby juvenile eagle into a full fledged adult. Having mastered what I learned and continue my journey with maturity, integrity, and brilliance. I have to understand that Spirit is constantly watching over me and will always along with my father who now resides in the spiritual realms as well.
Gentle Transformation
Apart from getting older physically. I believe that my transformation into an older and more wise man is going smoothly. There has been a bunch of rough patches this past year but all have been conquered. I honestly believe I am doing a heck of a job.I actually still look a bit young for my age even after all the stress. Thanks to the green smoothies and fruits that incorporate into my diet on a daily basis. Constant Laughter is the true fountain of youth. I'm not a vegan or anything like that but I do rarely eat red meat. I also exercise at least 3 to 4 days week. A little running here and there, while drinking bucket loads of water at the end of each session.
The Eagle that breaks open its shell to experience a more expansive world. A snake that sheds its skin and rids itself of the old. It's not my time to consciously shed my old self-limiting beliefs that I have been protecting me from the chaos of the world. I believe I seek a more modified value system, in hopes to will be apart of everything I do. ESPECIALLY when it comes to relationships. I want to be able to ask my fellow man, do we value the same things without hesitation. In the past, I've became friends those that do not value the same thing as me, but it's only because I didn't really have a value system to begin with, nor was I taught to have one. Life experience has taught me that I should have them.
Right now, I'm honestly going through one of the lowest points in my life. My morale is extremely low, I just lost a parent to cancer and I'm surrounded by hoodlums that want to destroy each other. I just hope to get out of this situation and to organize my life a bit better than it is. To find happiness, to share and grow intimate with a special someone in the future. Gain powerful friends with a positive influence. To challenge myself to go outside of my comfort zone. Thrive in a career that I am passionate about. To constantly grow out of my already expansive comfort zone.
Oh speaking of comfort zones. I went into a bar for the first time by myself!! I didn't talk to anyone but the waitress to get a drink. My only intention was to enjoy 90 minutes of Euro Cup 2012 soccer Finals. Spain whooped Italy 4-0. It was a great game to watch. Walking into bars is really not my thing. Who knows what that habit may lead.
More Joy
I can't escape the fact that I am a huge child. I grew up in the Nintendo era, my world was surrounded by computer games, game boys, and PlayStation. Even now, I am commonly found playing a few games here and there just to relax my mind, forget about my worldly attachments and set off on an adventure to save a Princess that is always getting captured by a giant fat lizard man.
I love it all. Writing, Movies, Watching Cartoons, Reading, Soccer, Women, (Flirting), Working out, Foreign Films, Traveling, and studying subjects like Astrology, people watching, and nature trips. I mean I am literally into a huge amount of things, so I consider myself worldly. The annoying thing about it, I spend time alone with these activities.
Many of my friends can say that I am a positive influence in their lives, different. Still an extremely positive force. A motivator at heart. I try to help my friends to progress and become more than what they are. I'm extremely hard on myself and I do find it hard to simply relax and enjoy life and what it has to offer.
I want to change that and try to find more like-minded people but putting myself out there a little more. The universe is an abundant provider and I pray that I have a bazillion and one chances to create more joy in my life. Over the years I've been blessed enough to have been able to smile and laugh. Blessed with times to not take life so seriously while things constantly worked out in the end.
Less Pain
Me, a soul Overjoyed with helping and serving man kind. There are times when I've made countless sacrifices to help my fellow man. Not to get recognition that I deserve, but because it's my natural tendency to such things. For example, It was a party night with a few teammates of mine that went sour, over trivial crap. A teammate of mine , an Irish man confronted by an angry local with a knife. I the only American bold enough to get him out of a bind but I did risk my face.
There are times when I asked myself, WHY? but I couldn't help me try to drag him out of the situation. I don't know why I was compelled to risk my life for him but I did and there isn't anything that can do to change that. In the end, a guy came out of the blue and sucker punched me. I was just glad that no one was murdered that night though. There are countless stories of me doing things for close family members and others. I'd either get hurt physically or emotionally for others.
That's the story of my life though. Making huge sacrifices and then end up getting hurt in the end. I sometimes just make excuses by saying things such as things could be worse, when I could have minded my business and spent time doing something productive.
Everyday I'll be thinking of ways to not endure pain in the future. Needless pain, of course life has its ups and downs. There are times I say to myself that I am Earth Angel, compelled to help man kind with all of there problems. When in fact no, I'm not. I'm here to enjoy life and all it's creations the best way I can. I so badly need to avoid and limit the crazy people in my life. Insecure women, being the top priority. Stories to tell about them. DAMN!
Grateful
I'm grateful to be alive. :) I'm grateful to be able to write my adventure out here and I hope to share my hopes, dreams, trial and tribulations, and journey with everyone that this blog comes into contact with. Bless this page and all who lay eyes upon it.
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